


Forbidden Fruit Snack

by pidgethepidgeon



Series: Beetlejuice Short Stories [21]
Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Beetlejuice and Lydia are best friends, Friendship, Funny, Lydia Deetz reaching her gen Z peak, Lydia and BJ are chaotic siblings, forbidden fruit snack, funny fic, guys this is a fanfic DO NOT EAT TIDE PODS, my last fic was sad so here's so sibling tomfoolery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23489500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgethepidgeon/pseuds/pidgethepidgeon
Summary: Lydia, being a young Gen-Z kid, has always wanted to know what a tide pod tastes like but also does not want to get poisoned so naturally, her demon friend comes in handy
Series: Beetlejuice Short Stories [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556005
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	Forbidden Fruit Snack

**Author's Note:**

> credit to @beetlejuicetastic for parts of the dialogue :)

“Being a human can be so limiting sometimes.” Lydia sighed nonchalantly glancing over at Beetlejuice who was currently busy duct-tapping a kitchen knife to the Roomba.

He wasn’t ignoring her but at least four times a day Lydia bitched about how boring being a human was in an attempt to get one of the ghosts in the house to do something cool to entertain her. Normally she just wanted to levitate or have the clones come back to make playing card games more interesting. Beetlejuice liked to play the field a little bit, not immediately jump to see what Lydia wanted because if it was something lame he’d rather pass that on to the Maitlands, but Lydia could clearly see through his methods and just sighed again. 

“What’s the matter ankle-bitter?” 

“Thank you! Okay so you know how like some deodorants and like candles and stuff smell good….”

“Look I have been fooled before...even the food shaped ones do NOT taste like their shape. Not even to mention how your dad won’t even let me order off Amazon anymore.”

“To be fair you did order six hundred dollars of candles hoping that one would taste good. I would also understandably be upset, not to mention the incident at the mall where you are no longer welcome”

“How was I supposed to know that free samples at the perfume department don’t mean the same thing as at the store! They needed to make the sign so much clearer.”

“Oh trust me that did now, and you didn’t just spray the bottle in your mouth you took off the lid and chugged the entire glass. That’s not a free sample Beej, I think that’s just called shoplifting with extra steps.”

“Are you going to get to your point? I have important buisness with DJ Roomba,” he gestured to the vacuum robot, “To pertain too, it hasn’t been chaotic enough in this house recently. Your father has gotten too comfortable.”

Lydia rolled her eyes but then her cheeks got red, “This is going to sound really lame so don’t make fun of me but like I can’t taste that shit or I’d probably die so whenever you’ve told me what something tastes like, I wrote it down. It’s actually a pretty organized notebook if you wanted to look through it ever. My proposition is a simple one my disgusting friend, for many years now there has been a running joke online about eating...eating like one of those laundry detergent pods-”

“Tide pods, yes I am familiar.” he nodded along

“And again I sadly am human and eating a tide pod would literally kill me but I need to know,” She huffed, “I need to know what the forbidden fruit snack tastes like.” 

Beetlejuice grinned and booked it to the laundry room, a room of the house he really didn’t frequent unless he wanted to bug Adam who still felt the need to wash him and Barbara’s clothes despite the fact there were dead. It didn’t take him long to rummage through the cleaning supplies to find the orange tub filled with the desired snack. He raced back to the living room and held out five of them in his hand. The smile on Lydia’s face was infectious and without hesitation, he threw all five pods in his mouth. 

“How do they taste??” She eagerly asked

“Fruity…” he chewed, “With a hint of denatonium benzoate-”

“English please Beej, this is serious!” She reminded him, waving her pen in his face

“Bitter, god aren’t you supposed to be a science wiz? Tastes like soap too.”

“Soap can taste like anything! I need details…”

“Go lick a bar of soap then! I’m not going to spoon-feed you all these descriptions you gotta use your imagination and context for some of it!”

“Okay well you could have just said it tastes like a bar of soap, you dared me to take a bite of one like two weeks ago.” 

“Oh shit, it’s also like really acidic? Like my tongue really burns like I have a papercut and just drank a gallon of raw lemon juice. God, the bitter acidic combo is not a good one let me tell you, Scarecrow.”

Lydia giggled, “On a scale of one to ten where would you rank tide pods?”

“A strong two and a half. Not as bad as that one marshmallow I found by the sink-”

“Magic eraser..”

“Weird name for a marshmallow brand but go off I guess,” he shrugged, “That tasted like sadness and dirty lake water but tide pods aren’t fantastic. Nothing can top the true 10, however, lemon pledge sprayed on a graham cracker. It just works, ya know?”

“I will have to take your word for it.” She patted his shoulder, “Come on, let’s go get real food. I think Delia said we were getting Chinese take out.”


End file.
